honesty has failed modern society.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-27T14:10:00

2005-02-27T20:11:26Z

tonight ought to be fun with stephanie by my side. :]

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-27T11:25:00

2005-02-27T17:27:02Z

the last two nights kind of sucked because i was sad about something the majority of the time, but they were still cool. most of the time i kept my mind off of all the bs.

so we're definately moving. my parents are out looking at houses right now. they just went out to one in gulf breeze which, when i called them, they said it sucked. they looked at another one off olive road too. i don't know if i want to move. i do, but i'd like to stay going at woodham because it seems like at every other school there is someone who doesn't like me. oh well. life is life.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-24T21:42:00

2005-02-25T03:42:22Z

This house is full of ears but I can't talk to anyone
They've heard this one a thousand times
Most exciting thing I do
Hang half way out a third floor window,
Maybe throw lit cigarettes down
And maybe I'll catch fire,
Something warm to hold me,
Something pure to burn away the darkness
That hides inside my mind
All that evil shit's not hard to find
I guess I only claim to be nice

This house is full of eyes but I can't look at anyone
They've seen this face a thousand times
Most relaxing thing I do
Hang half way out a third floor window,
And look at rocks if I fall out,
And maybe I'll fall hard,
Something tough to break me,
Something sharp to rip into my insides
And bleed out all that pain
Sorry I don't even know your name
I guess for me it's easy this way

Maybe I'll catch fire,
Something warm to hold me,
Something pure to burn away the darkness
That hides inside my mind
All that evil shit's not hard to find
I guess I only claim to be nice

Fits quite well how I feel right now. One of my old favorites.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-23T17:57:00

2005-02-23T23:57:34Z

wtf. :\

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-22T19:57:00

2005-02-23T01:58:14Z

today was greater. tomorrow shall be greater.

i met the nicest and most interesting guy today.

and hey, i miss my bff.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-21T20:45:00

2005-02-22T02:50:20Z

today was a great day. it started off gloomy but ended up beautiful. just the type of days i like. i had fun, both at school, and out of. and i'm looking forward to wednesday, more than any day this week. i learned alot about blood today, and my partner and i almost got to dissect a stingray in marine biology. jaws is a cool movie.

i miss vadim, so much.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-20T17:28:00

2005-02-20T23:29:42Z

previous entry was deleted.
i like watching tv when i'm down.
and eating soy burgers with tofutti and bac-o's.

:)

oh, and i love my parents.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-17T21:18:00

2005-02-18T03:23:58Z

i'm so bored. i'm sitting home on the computer, and it's driving me crazy because i ran out of things to do. earlier, i made some delicious spaghetti with vegan sauce and pasta. wonderful. it tasted so good. i went to evermann's today and signed up for a membership, so now i have one. and i bought alot of groceries. boca burgers and spinach things, different rices, bread, butter, meats, cheeses. yum. and i bought hummus. haha. yay.

sometimes i wonder if i really miss the feeling of love or if i just miss the satisfaction of having a boyfriend. whatever it is that is going on with me, though, is definately taking a toll on my emotions. i have no way to let all this frustration out. i associate with barely anyone anymore. it's sad, really.

trying to keep a positive outlook on life is pretty damn tough. but i still do it.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-15T20:25:00

2005-02-16T02:29:12Z

this is a partial rant.

i wish people would just accept it. it felt great eating my meat-free sandwich infront of people that seem to shun me for it, today at lunch. it felt great to hang out with georgelina after school, and i'm so tired because of the length of this day. i wrote a few songs for ashley and i's thing at school today, some are good, some are eh. but i have a feeling if i show anyone i'll only get honesty. it makes me mad. i'd like people to actually let me lean on them, sometimes. it helps, instead of always being shot in the rear end.

so this week is going to be long and boring. today in class, i asked mrs. bolling what kind of tv shows she watches. she told me animal planet and TCM, and i laughed inside. besides that, it was an okay day. lots of laughs.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-14T22:48:00

2005-02-15T04:48:40Z

i hate this fucking day.
i lost someone really close.
close-minded.
close to my heart.

fucking pretentious, but still hurts.
and i can't stop fucking crying.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-14T20:27:00

2005-02-15T02:28:32Z

here's to another valentine's day alone, green tea and hummus.

it'll get better, hopefully by next valentine's day.

fuck this stupid hallmark holiday and how much everyone treasures it.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-13T17:11:00

2005-02-13T23:11:09Z

my weekend consisted of that cutie, and a bunch of other things. we did some mad crazy driving around, and apparently i got a screw in my tire so we had to get that replaced. friday night was alright, i introduced ashley to steven and that was aweeesome. then since that place fucking sucked [ yes, i think i'm done with the gutter. ], we went to the beach. too cold! oh, and we saw butts. cute boys ;x

saturday was great. we went to evermans, and got some veggie egg salad wraps, minus the egg. haha it was cute. vegan food <3. i think i'm going on a vegan diet, for real. i'll see how it works out. afterwards, we went to harris and looked at cute instruments and decided what kind of music we want. then we went to end of the line and sang a bunch and attracted many people, and then.. we went to my friends bonfire, and roasted veggie weenies. hehe. came home, i farted, we slept.

i love this girlll!!

valentines day is tomorrow, and i am minus the valentine.

all singles go to EOTL Love Stinx tomorrow night, valentines day. from what i've heard, it's a singles' only dance party. it'll be funn.

peace.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-08T09:10:00

2005-02-08T15:12:27Z

oh my god, i owe ashley for this layout. <3 she's such a sweetie. anyway, so. i stayed up late last night doing abslultely nothing cause of the fact i didn't have to go to school until 10 today. bunch of sit ups and crap. mom yelled at me this morning cause i told her i wanted a sub before school ( cause she's not letting me drive. ). and yeah, overall. life is cutee. haha. tonight is my mary kay meeting thing. i hope all goes well with that. yup.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-06T23:03:00

2005-02-07T05:05:21Z

i love ashley for being so fucking cool.
i love stephy for giving me 17893128931 pop cds.
i love margaret anne for letting me kick her in the butt.
i love zach for saying he misses me.
i love adam for helping me with my job thing.
i love katie for being the only one to understand me.

i hate nick for being so stupid.
i hate juggalos.

hahahahaha.
<3 this weekend was great. consisted of me and ashley driving around and listenign to old pop cds, smoking cigarettes, and dancing. we spraypainted 'you are beautiful' down by the train tracks, and we went to a show at sluggos. well, partially. cute guy in the parking lot, hi. :)

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-03T21:11:00

2005-02-04T03:11:24Z

groundhog, i love you. cold weather is my favorite. and your teeth are kind of cool.

cici's tomorrow for the people whole got a 4.0 or higher on their FL Writes. Haha, yes, I got a 5.0 out of 6.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-02T22:10:00

2005-02-03T04:13:40Z

my mom sent me a sweet email. i love her.

i went to moondance today and bought some hemp and beads. i'm excited about making a necklace.

this weekend i have a feeling i will have the best experience i've ever had. i'm so excited. i hope it all works how its supposed to.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-01T21:38:00

2005-02-02T03:38:29Z

i know something you dont know.

honestyisdead @ 2005-02-01T06:39:00

2005-02-01T12:40:41Z

heyy mom. congrats on waking me up this morning as if there was a fire in the house. if i would have known it was only 6:30, i would have let my head rest for a little while longer.

so, i'm in the process of looking for a new job. if you guys could help me, it'd be much appreciated, thanksssss. :)

some girls never give up.

honestyisdead @ 2005-01-30T22:16:00

2005-01-31T04:18:39Z

home again. i am so glad that i'm home again.

today was great. :) adams was so much fun, i may make it a daily thing, possibly? i got over my fear of rats because their rat is the cutest ever. holly is really nice, as is joe.

i'm happy.

honestyisdead @ 2005-01-29T23:31:00

2005-01-30T05:34:44Z

im in lafayette, and i can honestly say i wish i didn't come. but oh well.

i need a new friggin job', dammit.

and last, but not least, i'm homesick.

honestyisdead @ 2005-01-27T21:05:00

2005-01-28T03:13:16Z

people who revolve their life around me don't make me mad, it actually makes me laugh a little.

today was great. tomorrow will be great. as will saturday and sunday. monday? eh, i dunno about that one.

i need to pick up some more film for pensacola photo tomorrow before we leave. i'm excited about taking pictures in lafayette. it has so much heritage. the one girl i was mainly going to hang out with isn't going to be in town, so i have robin.. and the rest of my time, on my own. it'll be fun though, i love driving by myself. and i love taking pictures. good combo.

i painted my old guitar last night and put some grateful dead lyrics on the fretboard. i think i may spraypaint a stencil on it too. i'm not sure but i think i'm going to use the hole for a planter and the base of the guitar for something to hold stuff on.

honestyisdead @ 2005-01-26T22:51:00

2005-01-27T04:58:49Z

i deleted my last post because it was depressing. i read it and wondered "okay, what the hell?"

so i fucked up my computer tonight but its all fixed. those stupid music downloading programs always mess up the best of computers. today was fun, i enjoyed the company of my friends very much. i have to say it was one of the best skip days. we saw about 10 jellyfish washed up on the beach at the bluffs though, eeee. i downloaded so much classic rock tonight that i might as well live in the 70's now. haha. downloaded alot of jethro tull and grateful dead. so many good songs, too. god.

leaving friday for lafayette, coming home sunday. i'm going to have alot of fun, i already know it.

let's hear it for life being beautiful.
and the weather being perfect whenever
i want it too.

i'm going to try and switch back to shorts photography class because i really need to develop my film. i'm too cheap to pay for it.

moondance tomorrow!

honestyisdead @ 2005-01-25T23:59:00

2005-01-26T06:01:46Z

i love laughing.

honestyisdead @ 2005-01-25T22:54:00

2005-01-26T04:58:51Z

tonight i went with some friends to the train tracks. it was lovely. and perfect timing, the train was coming. at first i was a bit weary of the hunky piece of machinary, but as it approached, i stood up and walked towards it. i stood about 2/3 feet away from it, and let the wind pick up my hair. i started laughing. it was bliss.

i haven't been that happy in a while.